Empathy
Once you have mastered the skill of Empathy, your students will connect with you on a higher level. When you can understand what the child is feeling and their behavior (right or wrong), you can push forward in their progress. You have to understand the moment is what it is, and sometimes kids are sad, mad, frustrated, anxious, really happy, etc... You have to accept their emotion, and allow them to experience it, while showing them how to self-regulate through it and manage it productively.
When a child is crying because they've been told no, we typically tell them "stop crying, your'e fine" or something of that nature because we know they are okay in reality and we want them to stop crying. When using the skill of empathy, we relate to that child by saying "You seem upset. It's really hard when you can't have what you want isn't it. But, sometimes that's the way it goes. Breathe with me. You're safe and you can handle this. Breathe with me." This allows them to access the higher centers of their brain for regulation because we have validated their emotion instead of discounted it and made them feel stupid or inadequate for being sad.
The skill of NOTICING is a very important one. Judgment is a hurtful behavior. When we judge others we are putting their behavior into a category of good or bad, which gives the child a feeling of adequacy or inadequacy. When we notice their behavior, we bring it to their consciousness and they can then determine if it is productive and helpful or hurtful.
When a child is crying because they've been told no, we typically tell them "stop crying, your'e fine" or something of that nature because we know they are okay in reality and we want them to stop crying. When using the skill of empathy, we relate to that child by saying "You seem upset. It's really hard when you can't have what you want isn't it. But, sometimes that's the way it goes. Breathe with me. You're safe and you can handle this. Breathe with me." This allows them to access the higher centers of their brain for regulation because we have validated their emotion instead of discounted it and made them feel stupid or inadequate for being sad.
The skill of NOTICING is a very important one. Judgment is a hurtful behavior. When we judge others we are putting their behavior into a category of good or bad, which gives the child a feeling of adequacy or inadequacy. When we notice their behavior, we bring it to their consciousness and they can then determine if it is productive and helpful or hurtful.